Ordered Randomness

1. In my bedroom, I have a stack of clothing that I can no longer wear. The reason I can no longer wear them is well-known to you at this point. Yesterday I needed a bit of motivation and decided it was time to see how far I’d come. I’ve come a long way, baby! Sure, I have farther to go, but I’m motivated. For now.

2. At this point, I have a few options for the stack, which measures about 4 feet in height and has been relegated to the corner like a naughty child in the Victorian educational system:
A.  Create a Dunce cap, set it on top, and walk by the stack and taunt it once or forty times per day.
B.  Put the clothing into a large, metal can and have a burning ceremony. You know? Like you burn stuff from an old relationship gone bad.
C.   Try on the clothes and watch as they fall of of me every day for motivation.

3. I’m leaning toward ‘A’. I’m real mature like that.

4. Do not call/Facebook/text/otherwise contact me and tell me to give them to the Goodwill/Salvation Army/whatever. Of course, these clothes will have a good home. In fact, one’s already been assigned to them, and they’re going there. Just as soon as I’m done taunting them. Amen.

5. What’s left in my closet isn’t much. What that means, in layman’s terms, is that I’m gonna need an advance on my clothing allowance, Big Daddy. Hello? Big Daddy? *Tap, tap.* Is this thing on?

6. One of these books has been replaced by the other on my cookbook shelf.

 This shift is symbolic of my life at this point.

7. What that means for you is that, rather than getting recipes here for Peanut Butter Cake and Vanishing Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Bars, you’ll be learning how to make hummus, to be eaten with carrot sticks.

8. I apologize in advance. I’ll try to give you just the stuff that we’ve eaten that didn’t make us gag.

9. I’ll try and sneak the good stuff to you when I make something to send to The Boys. The Boys don’t ‘do’ hummus.

10.  The Diva, who, as it turns out, doesn’t ‘do’ hummus either, is volunteering at the local veteranarian’s office today. See, she’s decided that, when she grows up, she wants to be a vet. So, I gave doc a call and asked if she could help him out a bit. Today she’s seeing patients and doing surgery. Well, she’s probably not doing the surgery. But she’s right there in the thick of it.

11. When she comes home, I figure she’ll have made an official decision: either she’ll be pursuing a career in veterinary medicine, or, deciding that’s not for her, will go with gusto after her back-up career choice, a princess.

12. Having met with the kind and gracious man who will be overseeing my dissertation, I have finally narrowed down a topic in which we both have an interest and one that won’t make me fall asleep just thinking about it. For the next year or so of my life, I’ll be hip-deep in research.

13. I apologize in advance. To myself.

Over and out,

AinW

The 30-Day Shred: The Results Post

Note: This post is long, and I’m sorry about that.  Hang in there. You’ll be at the end before you know it.

Thirty days ago, Jillian Michaels and I entered into a relationship, the outcome of which I could not know. While she promised me weight loss and a healthier me, I was just sure she meant pain leading to death.

Yesterday marked day 30 of The 30-Day Shred for me. Today, I outline the results for you.

The Background

First, though, let me take you on a little weight-related trip.  Since the day I was born, I have fought the battle of the bulge. Five years ago, when I moved to California, I looked like this.

I had just lost about 40 pounds or so prior to moving and was feeling great, though you can’t tell by my facial expression. Oy.

However, after four years of southern California hospitality, I looked like this.

Why, yes, that is me happy to be helping myself to another serving of something not-good-for-me. Why do you ask?

Obviously, southern California was good to me. I particularly enjoyed their avocados, comida Mexicana (that’s Mexican food, for those of you who don’t habla), and the Greek Chicken place.

Oh, and Filippi’s Pizza Grotto in Little Italy, downtown San Diego.

And In-N-Out Burger.

And avocados. Did I mention that already? In and of themselves, they are not bad for you. En masse, not so much.

The bottom line is that I had to do something, and 2011 was going to be my year to do it.  I started the year on a Weight Watcher-y type plan, using The Biggest Loser dvd’s, and that worked. For awhile.  Then, this thing was born, and I got off track.

Once I returned home from taking care of him and his mother/my sister, I decided to attack my New Year’s Resolution with gusto, which is what led me to seek out the help of Jillian.

Over the past 30 days, I’ve been subjected to exercises the likes of which my body had never done. Nor ever wanted to do. But I did it. And I have the sweaty yoga mat to prove it.

On day one, I was sure I was going to die. By day three, I was hoping I would. My muscles quivered. Everything hurt. My self-esteem lived in the toilet. However, as I progressed from level to level, I felt myself getting stronger. I could keep up her pace and do more reps. I exercised along with the high-intensity modifier, rather than Beginner Girl. Then, when I began to see results around day 10 or so, I was hooked.

Plan Specifics

Complete The 30-Day Shred each day, excluding Sundays. If the Good Lord needed a Sabbath, then so do I.  Three levels; ten days on each level. Weights used vary between 2 and 5 pounds. Move up to the next level even when the current level is not at perfection. Perfection is not necessary. Just keep moving. Imperfect movement is better than perfect couch-sitting.

Wipe sweat as necessary.

Eat around 1500 calories per day. Included at least one serving of fruits/veggies at each sitting. Three meals, one afternoon snack. Nothing after dinner. No processed sugar. Almost. The Diva had a birthday, and there was cake. Very limited amounts of fast food (like one or two-ish Wendy’s Double Stacks the entire time). Lots of chicken and other lean meat. No eating until after I’ve exercised in the mornings. Small portions. Turns out, my body didn’t need nearly as much food as I was giving it.

The Results

Lost Inches
Waist: 5
Hips: 5
Bust: 3.5
Upper Arms (combined): 2.25
Thighs (combined): 5.25
Calves (combined): 1.75
Total Inches Lost during The 30-Day Shred:  22.75

But wait! There’s more!

Lost Weight during The 30-Day Shred: 12 lbs.

I had previously lost 7.8 lbs since January and 12.2 lbs. before that over the course of several months, so my total weight loss to date is 32 lbs.

Clothing Size: down one pants size. This is really an understatement, as the size I was previously wearing was very tight, and the size I now wear fits great.  In reality, down one-and-a-half pants sizes. Not bad for 30 days. (Down one bra cup size, too. Sorry, but you had to know.)

Pictures

I’ve debated the picture situation. Agonized over it, in fact. Anyone who knows me knows that I haven’t voluntarily appeared in a photograph since my dance recital when I was 3. That’s what the battle of the bulge will do for a person. However, when I began The Shred, I foreknew it was going to be difficult and that I would need inspiration.

I was right.

Several times in the last 30 days, I have been so thankful for those pictures. The visual learner in me needed to see the difference. On days when Shredding was especially difficult or I didn’t ‘feel’ like I was making a difference, I’d get my computer, pull up one of the pics, look at it, then stand in the mirror and compare. I always felt better.

Then I reminded myself to move out of my emotional core into a more rational frame of mind. I’m a girl. We have to remind ourselves sometimes.

Since 70% of you are visual learners, too (my education pays off, baby!), I’m guessing that those measurements up there are just numbers to you.  For that reason, I’ve decided to post some before and after pics here, though I’m not courageous enough to post them in color yet. Turns out, courage comes in stages rather than all at once like the Cowardly Lion got his. That Wizard is full of it.

Deep breath. Here we go.

Mug shot. Not so bad. The look is scary. I apologize. That’s my ‘I’m-getting-ready-to-face-Jillian’ face. As for the hair, well, it’s best not to do it until post-Jillian.

Number two. Side shot.

Five inches off the waist and hips apiece are very visible here.

The back. My personal favorite. That’s just me, though.

Before too long, I’ll be saying good-bye to that pesky back fat altogether.  My waist is taking shape. The hourglass is appearing.

Other
It seems that my body is stronger than I’ve ever given it credit for.  I walk more upright and hold my head higher. My muscles are more defined. My blood pressure and heartrate are lower.  My appetite has decreased. My cravings are gone.  My skin is clearer, brighter, and smoother. My clothes are falling off of me, and I’m okay with that. I like to shop.

About midway through The Shred, we went on a 6-mile hike up and down the mountains of East Tennessee. It was hard, but I was not dying. I even ran part of the way. Running is new.

I can fit my purse in between my stomach and the steering wheel a little lot easier when I need to get money out of it to pay for my daily treat of Sonic ice. No calories. Low cost. My dentist is not speaking to me, but she’ll get over it.

My jawline and collarbones have reappeared, proudly standing out after their lengthy hibernation.

Double blessing: A number of people (more than 10) have emailed, called, Facebooked, or otherwise contacted me to tell me that my transformation has inspired them to do something similar. Many of them are now Shredheads like me.  I had no idea the sphere of my influence. I can’t help but wonder if I had been influencing them towards In-N-Out Burger before.

Next Steps

While my results are amazing (or at least I think they are), this is just the beginning of my total transformation. Therefore, there must be more steps. In the immediate future (like, starting today), I will be working out with Miss Jillian using her Ripped in 30 dvd.

This dvd is very similar to The Shred, in that it uses the 3-2-1 method: 3 minutes of strength training, 2 minutes of cardio, 1 minute of abs, 3 circuits plus a warm-up and cool-down. It’s still only about 30 minutes long and lasts for 30 days. I’ve learned that both 30 minutes and 30 days are the extent of my attention span, so this plan works for me.

I’ll be eating about 1400 calories per day: 400 for breakfast, 400 for lunch, 200 for an afternoon snack, and 400 for dinner. I’ll be estimating these, and some days I’ll go over. Some days, though, I’ll be under, so it’ll all work out. I’ll still not be eating sugar as much as is possible in America. There are no birthdays on the horizon in my family, so it should be a little easier. Lots of fruits and veggies. Lots of lean meat. You know, the regular fare. Oh, and water. Gallons and gallons per day. Since all I drink is water, I intake no caffeine. Ever. And one cup of decaffeinated green tea per day. I read somewhere that it’s good for weight loss. I don’t know how true that is, but I’ve been drinking it these past 30 days and have lost weight. If something’s working, I’m not one for rocking the boat.

I have more long-terms plans, too. I’ll spare you those for now and keep you updated as I progress.  I’ll report back here in 30 more days to let you know how ripped I am. Although I’m still not convinced that, at my age, ripping stuff is a good idea.

Officially Shredded,

AinW