A Royal Wedding List

I think somebody got married last weekend or something. I could be wrong. It’s happened before.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’ve never been the princess-y type. As a kid, I spent the summers barefooted, climbing trees and running up-and-down gravel roads, yielding foot crust an inch thick. These days, though the crust is somewhat less-so thanks to the pumice stone, I prefer my pink, camo Dodge cap and Tennessee (University of, not Titans) jersey rather than a dress.

Pappaw says I look like a redneck. I say, it takes one to know one. We’re real mature like that.

Anywho, because I happen to live in the house with an aspiring princess/veterinarian/hair stylist/fashion designer/drummer/songwriter/pediatrician, I’ve seen bits and pieces of the Royal Wedding footage. Here are a few of my thoughts, for what they’re worth.

1. The Dress: it was just lovely. The scarlet red tunic under the red-and-golden cape was crisp and shiny and accented the decor in the abbey. The matching, pointy hat with the gold, dangly thing in the back accessorized it quite nicely, as well.

Kate’s dress was okay, too.

2. The Hats: If I had scored an invitation to that shindig, found a place to park, walked all the way into the abbey in painful shoes, found my blessed seat, and then couldn’t see because I was stuck behind one of those lasses with a dead bird or some such nonsense on her head, I’d be ticked. But that’s just me.

3. The Guests: how did the couple break the news to their friends that they wouldn’t be able to come to the wedding because random royalty had to have a seat?

King of Tonga photo courtesy of http://barimavox.blogspot.com/

My Dearest Susannah,
William and I regret to inform you that all seats in the abbey have been taken, therefore, we won’t be able to send you an invitation. While we recognize your valuable position in our lives (you and I’ve been friends since nursery school, you nursed me back to health after a grave illness, we graduated together, you counseled with us through our horrid break-up and bear sole responsibility for seeing our relationship through to this important day, and are my dearest friend on earth), your seat had to be given to the King of Tonga. We’ve never actually met him, but he seems like a nice chap. Feel free to go ahead and send your gifts anyway.

4.  And The Best Part?

That girl’s got ‘tude, and I love it! I say, get passionate about something, girl! Even if it’s only blocking out the crowd/airplane/ringing bell nonsense. She was just doing what everybody else wanted to.

Thank God it’s over,



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