Very Important!

Yesterday, I told you I had something very important to tell you today. Now it is today, so I’m going to tell you that very important thing that I told you yesterday I was going to tell you today.

You might want to brace yourself. Here it is.

I think my pinky fingers are disproportionately shorter than normal when compared to the remainder of the fingers on my hands.

Take a minute and collect yourself before I proceed with the evidence.  I’ll wait, knowing I’ve had several weeks to process this enlightenment, and you deserve at least a minute or two.

Here’s how I know this is true: ever since I can remember, the pinky fingers on my gloves are too long.

All the other fingers fit perfectly into an adult-sized glove, but that little one is always too long for my pinky, which is odd because nothing (and I do mean nothing…save my ears!) is petite about me.

Here’s what I mean about the gloves:

The thumb, though once slammed in a car door, is normal, as evidenced by the lack of excess glove material at the end when the Diva, who put glitter lotion on her hand for just this occasion, presses gently on it.

The pointer finger, the one I use most often when I’m teaching or parenting (it goes with that look…they’re like salt and pepper): normal.

The middle finger, the one I use when, oh, nevermind: normal.

The ring finger: the one which holds the dazzling ring Big Daddy gave me the day he pledged his undying love, the very ring that makes women swoon: normal.

But watch this:

See the fold? What that fold means is that I’ve got a good 3/4 of an inch of extra material there. This is the case with every pair of gloves I’ve ever owned.

The Diva says she has the same issue. She also mumbled something about a genetic cesspool, but I couldn’t quite make it out.

I’d show you my naked hand so you could judge for yourself,, but this is a G-rated blog. No nudity.  Plus, my cuticles need a trim, and I wouldn’t want to subject you to seeing them.

Never a slow news day around here!

AinW

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8 thoughts on “Very Important!

  1. oh how funny you are! Thanks for the laugh.. Deformed? Not so sure. All Gods creations are unique, What a world we would live in should we all be the same.. now to measure those toes… 🙂 Pictures please.. Have big daddy give you a pedicure for Christmas. Have a great weekend.
    Lois

    Like

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