NOTE: This post is published with the Diva’s full permission. In hindsight, she thinks it’s pretty funny, too! She’s cutie that way.
In our home-educational process, we are learning about the classification of living organisms. For example, all living things are classified into kingdom, phyllum, class, order, family, genus, and species. Right now, we are focusing on the five, major kingdoms: Animal, Plant, Fungi, Bacteria, and Protist, the last two of which involve single-celled organisms.
Parallel to this, in Bible, we are working our way through Genesis which, unfortunately, discusses the topic of prostitution. The Diva and I had a talk about what prostitution meant. Big Daddy (our Bible teacher and spiritual leader, the head of our household, the slayer of our dragons, the killer of our bugs, the lifter of our heavy things, the opener of our pickle jars, the, oh, you get the point!) was not, I repeat, not, interested in being a part of this conversation. Further proof that that “weaker vessel” thing doesn’t relate to child-rearing.
Monday, when reviewing our science lesson, the Diva got her wires crossed. Here’s how it went:
Me:”Let’s review living organisms’ classification.”
Diva: “Ok. There are five, major kingdoms.”
Me: “Can you name them?”
Me: “Good, three more.”
Diva: “You know Big Daddy doesn’t eat the fungus because he says it grows in a turd.”
Me: “I know. Focus! What’s the last kingdom?
The Diva thinks diligently.
Me: “It starts with a P.”
And then the light bulb comes on. Her eyes light up, and she starts wagging her finger at me wildly. I’m so proud of my girl! She’s got it! I can hardly breathe for the pride puffing up my chest!
Diva (excitedly): “The Prostitution Kingdom!”
Me (deflatedly): “Only in Vegas and Amsterdam, honey.”
Diva (realizing her mistake and giggling to cover her red face): “Mother!”
Diva (loudly): “Protist!”
Me: “Praise the Lord. Let’s go have some ice cream. School’s closed for the rest of the day. My heart can’t take anymore.”