…why I always store food in the one Tupperware container for which I don’t have a top. Why don’t I ever learn to get the dish and the top before I transfer food?
…why I don’t throw the container away when I realize it doesn’t have a top? I just put it back in the cabinet like a top’s going to materialize from somewhere.
…why, in the state of California, motorcyclists are allowed to weave in between lanes of traffic but are required to wear a helmet. Does it really matter at that point?
…why my new, matte finish make-up feels like spackle and makes my face feel like freshly sanded sheetrock. Do they sell putty knives for applying such stuff to one’s face?
…why I can never get the Weed Eater to start, but Big Daddy can with little to no effort. Doesn’t it like me? I’m trying not to take it personally.
…why I have to walk past a dirty window/glass door/mirror 25 35 times before I get the Windex and fix it. Do I think the fingerprints will magically disappear on their own? (This one could be said of anything in my house that needs cleaning.)
…whether it’s considered normal to have a “usual” breakfast order at McDonald’s and, equally, whether it’s normal for all the breakfast employees there to know what I want when I say, “I’ll have the usual, please.” Isn’t that a service they provide for everybody?
…why the homeowner’s association sent me a letter threatening a $1500 fine if Laila-dog doesn’t quit barking, but it’s perfectly okay with them if my across-the-street neighbor plays his guitar, which is connected to a very loud amplifier, out in his front yard. I’ll show them. I’ll just move to Tennessee.
And we’re off! I’ve decided that, from time to time, I’ll share with you the things I wonder about. Because I know you care.
Your turn. Share with me the funniest things you wonder. I dare you to make me laugh.
Comment here to share your wonderings with me.
Breaking the scripts,