You know you’re in for a day when you wake up in the morning, step on the scale, and it reads, in big, red letters: EEEEE. Supposedly the E stands for Error; however, in my mind, it stood for Enormous.
Welcome to my day.
On today’s agenda: lunch with the Barbies (actual women who could pass as one of those disproportionate, make-me-feel-bad-about-myself dolls). Eating with them always makes me feel good about myself (insert sarcastic facial expression here). They eat all their lunch and still look like pencils with two, perky, round erasers on the front. I eat a bite of each thing on my plate, NOT including dessert, and gain 10 pounds in water weight. Between this and the scale incident, I feel great about myself.
Here’s the thing: I know I’m not a supermodel. Never have been. Never will be. But does managing one’s weight have to be so hard?
When I was teaching elementary school, back before I was exalted to the high(er) school level, I read a book to my young students about a little boy named Alexander who had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I’m thinking of changing my name to Alexander.
There are two problems with that, though:
(1) the whole day wasn’t so bad
(2) getting one’s name changed costs too much
Plus, I love lima beans.
Maybe changing my name isn’t such a good idea after all.
Oh, well. We’ll try again tomorrow.
On THE Adventure,